Retail Uncensored

Various retail stories from over the years.


For those of you wondering what vpl’s are. Well that is short for visible panty lines. They aren’t cute, and I was reminded of that last night. It was a friday downtown, and all the girls are walking around ready to go to the club. Well one particular girl stood out cause of her somewhat unattractive outfit. She was walking about 6 feet away from me, and I guess I was looking at her outfit a little too long to figure out what was wrong with it. Well when it came time for her to pass me I saw part of what was wrong. She had on a very short tight spandex skirt with oh what is that, her granny panties on. Ladies when wearing spandex you should never ever ever wear full coverage. Those vpl’s are not cute when you are at the club. If I can see them from 6 feet away, every guy you are trying to hit on at the club can too. And we all know that guys are not a fan of granny panties when they are trying to hook up at the club. Sorry girl, but you are probably going home alone tonight.

Lesson of the day, don’t wear your full coverage to the club when wearing spandex. 


Why yes, it is rude?

It’s something that happens on a daily basis. The fact that someone comes into a store on their cell phone, and expect to get service while having a conversation with someone else on the phone. It’s beyond rude to the sales person. I know that the customer is supposed to be always right, but guess what, that’s wrong. I don’t feel like I should be nice to someone who comes in on their cell phone while having a conversation.

I had a woman come in a few weeks ago, and never once stopped talking to whomever it was on the other line. She just waved me over to help her, kinda whispered what size she needed, paid, and left while the whole time talking on her phone. Her friend was completely embarrassed, and kept apologizing for her friend being on the phone. The rude woman never even thanked me for helping her. She just left on her mary way out the door while her friend thanked me instead. I’m sorry, but I feel like she didn’t deserve to get any help from me at all. At least not until she stopped her conversation. I know I am guilty of going into a store on my phone, but I at least have the common courtesy to stop my conversation to talk to the clerk at the check out counter at the grocery store, and finish my conversation when I am done with the transaction walking out the door. This woman never ever stopped talking. I really wanted to tell her that I couldn’t help her till she actually talked to me and not to whomever seemed to be oh so much more important on the other line. If it is really that important, then maybe you should go shopping when you are done with your conversation.


Remember then next time you are too rude to stop your conversation on the phone to even acknowledge the person who is ringing you up. They think you are incredibly rude, and no it’s not ok even if they say it is. Deep down they are kinda pissed.

Thanks for the tip!!

So since I started at the job I am at, I have been getting tips. Technically since I am in retail I really shouldn’t be getting any, but I am hourly and not commission like most retail jobs. So I guess I don’t feel too bad taking a tip here and there. (I am not encouraging anyone that they need to be tipping their sales associate.) I think the reason I am getting tipped is because where I work alcohol is involved. There is a bar at both locations where I am employed. I do have to say that all my tips have come from men, cause ladies we all know that we shouldn’t be tipping sales associates.

I guess the real reason I am writing this post is, cause I had some guy tip me twenty bucks tonight. I am usually get a dollar or two here and there, but twenty for giving him and his friends directions. I felt really uncomfortable taking the tip, but he put it on the counter and walked away. Hey if that’s all it takes, then maybe I’ll be more willing to give out directions more often. The only other time I got a large tip was fifteen bucks, but the guy bought a lot of expensive clothes and well I put together a whole outfit for him to go out in. So I didn’t feel too bad taking it, especially since I don’t get commission anymore. That I felt was kinda deserved.

So the point of the story is, guys you don’t have to tip retail sales associates. Unless they work in a hotel gift shop, and are selling your drunk ass some cigarettes.

You clipped what in your hair?

So today a gentleman came into the store. Somewhat business attire was being worn. Dress pants, dress shirt, suspenders, vest. Not that bad of an outfit. A bit of long hair grown to about his chin all the way around. He was looking around at the front of the store when I approached him to say hi. We exchanged the proper greetings, and he kept looking around. He turned around, and that’s when I noticed. Hanging from the back of his hair was a long braided rat tail.

For those of you who do not know what one is I have wikipedia it for you.

rattail is a hair style that is characterized by a long “tail”-like element of hair growing downward from the back of the head. The rattail usually curls naturally; however, it can be braided, treated as a dreadpermedstraightened, or curled with an iron. In some instances, an individual might choose to grow several tails as opposed to a single very long tail.[1]

The rattail saw a brief period of mainstream popularity during the 1980s and has rapidly fallen out of vogue.[citation needed] However, it has recently[clarification needed] seen renewed popularity.

Now a rat tail normally would not shock me. I’ve seen plenty of them, but something seemed off about this one. I had to go in for a closer look. I was so curious as to why it didn’t match his hair color. Or why it seemed to look funny at the base of his head. For a closer inspection meant I had to engage in conversation. As we are having our conversation and he’s looking around, I was able to get a closer look. It was fake!!!! I was standing there just wondering why he had a fake rat tail in while I’m trying to make conversation. Also wondering what would possess a guy to even put one in his hair. Besides the obvious, that he was trying way to hard to be what he thought was cool. My co-worker had finally come out from the back office in enough time to be able to also help out this guy. I had to go into the office to do paperwork, and I wanted so badly to call her to tell her to look at it. I didn’t get that chance, but luckily she did get a look at it. We both agreed that it was completely a clipped in rat tail.

Guys, don’t be that guy and never ever clip in a rat tail. The sales girls at the store will completely make fun of you when you leave the store, and probably text half their girlfriends what they saw.


It smells like what in the fitting room?

Working retail enough, there have been some nasty smells the permeate from the fitting rooms. Most of the time nothing is ever said about it. Not from the customers, and certainly not from the sales associates. Usually once a customer leaves, we just go spray some lysol and the smell goes away. Well one particular evening that didn’t not happen. A young teenage girl and her mother were shopping in the store.(I was not helping her, thank goodness.) They were shopping for jeans for the girl to wear to school. While the daughter was in the fitting rooms, it started to smell like the nasties dirtiest foot smell ever!!!!! I gagged from the smell. The mother told her daughter to put her shoes back on and that she smelled and needed to wash them. Other girls in the fitting room actually said how bad it smelled out loud, so that the poor girl was so embarrassed. I felt incredibly bad for her, but damn it smelled awful. It took lots of lysol and time for the smell to go away. I know that every girl or guy has owned a pair of shoes that has made their feet smell including myself, but I have never smelled it as bad as that day.

So to answer a previous persons comment from my first ever post. No I have not had to clean or deal with poop in a fitting room. A used tampon yes, but poop, no. Yes women are that disgusting in fitting rooms!!!!!!

Sorry to let you down that it wasn’t a poop in the fitting room story, but it doesn’t mean that some people haven’t ripped a nasty ass fart in a fitting room and left. Yes, some of you are probably laughing, cause you have probably done it. Don’t deny it.

Stalk much?!?!?!

So last night at work was a bit unsettling. I hadn’t felt creeped out by a customer in a really long time. The unfortunate part of working retail or any customer service where you have to see and talk to people is the creepoids who try hitting on you. I am working you jerk. Leave me alone. I am not here to provide a date for you, I am here to help you find a t-shirt or something else you can buy. And no you can’t buy me. Go find a hooker down the street. After all this time I still don’t get it why men must hit on a sales person. Yes we are nice, but it’s cause we have to be because we want you to buy something. I’m not being nice cause I like you.

So the start of the story. I am now working at a place that has a bar restaurant and a retail store in it. (Still not mentioning where I work. Sorry) Anyways, I notice this guy sitting in the corner of the bar just staring at me half the night. Enough that I started to feel really uncomfortable, and then to the point of some kind of fear. The fear came from previous stalker experiences at another store I used to work at. So I finally said something to my coworkers. At one point I am not sure if someone said something to him, but he finally stopped starring. However, he was sitting there for hours, and was still there when I left work. I hurried to get my stuff and almost ran out of the place in fear he might follow me. Usually I am not so fearful at all of creepy men like this, but he just really gave me the creeps to bring up some crappy memories of my previous stalkers.

Previous stalkers included some perv from a department store in the mall who used to come in my store and hit on me constantly in a creepy perverted way, and a young-looking Eric Clapton looking guy who would come into the store and never say a word to me but stare in a very uncomfortable way. Stalked me for over a year. The silent ones are the scariest.

Point of story is, guys don’t be creeps and hit on or stalk sales girls. We don’t like it.


Oh no she didn’t!!!

Working retail for so long you know that women will buy an outfit to wear to the club and bring it back to return a few days later. It’s gross and tacky, but this isn’t about me going on how disgusting it is. This is about a situation where I nicely called a girl out on it.

About 12 years ago, I was an assistant manager at a store in the mall that sold hip hop, club clothes, and alternative clothes. One particular evening I was pulling a double shift cause we were short. Me and another assistant manager Beth were standing behind the counter talking when a girl and a few of her friends came in to return a tube top shrug set. (Yes in the late nineties tube tops made a come back!!! So awful and cheap. But that’s another opinion for another time.) So I grab the bag from the girl and open it up. The stench of stanky arm pit came wafting out of the bag and slapped me right in the face. I had to have the unfortunate task of taking the stinky items out of the bag. I saw that the tag was still attached to the shrug she obviously didn’t wear, but the tube top that stunk so bad had been worn. I told her that we couldn’t return the item cause it was worn. Her and her nosey friends then proceeded to tell me that it wasn’t worn, and the tag was still attached. That’s when in the nicest way I could told her that I couldn’t return it, because it smelled like body odor. I then got Beth involved by asking her if she thought it did also, and she agreed. The girl then proceeded to keep going off on me asking to talk to a manager, and got a little more upset when we both said we were the managers. I still kept pressing the whole time about how the item stunk, and kept calling her out on it till she finally decided she wasn’t going to get her 23 dollars back, and then threatened to go the owner who she personally knew. My favorite excuse used at that store. The clients thought the store was owned probably by some younger gentlemen, but in fact was owned by two guys who much older and didn’t even live in the same city as the store. So the moral of the story is, if you’re going to be a cheap and bring back an outfit you wore to the club, make sure it doesn’t smell of your stanky armpits. You will most likely be called out infront of your friends. Then we will talk about it after you leave, or later write a blog about it.